Then It's Lights Out For Me

I have really been working with my class on their writing this year.  My class last year didn't score so well on the writing portion of the SBA so I made it a goal of mine this year to work more on teaching them how to write a good paragraph.  So, we write like a hamburger.  We have our top bun: the introduction sentence, the meat in the middle: the juicy detail, and the bottom bun: the conclusion sentence, you can't have your hamburger falling apart.  The kiddos are really taking to this type of writing and they understand how to put a paragraph together because they know how to put a hamburger together.  We even talked about what makes a good hamburger.  You don't want just a small piece of meat in between two buns.  You want lettuce, tomato, pickles, onion, cheese, green chili, catsup, etc.  In the same way you don't want one sentence in between the opening and closing sentence, you want juicy detail.  So, to work on this, I give the class a writing prompt to work on every morning after they finish their morning math.  Usually they do this in their composition notebooks, but this past Friday I had them write on a loose leaf piece of paper and turn it in for me to grade.  I have to say I am very proud of my kiddos!  For the most part they wrote good hamburgers.  And, as always there were very interesting, and funny paragraphs.  Let me share them with you.  (These are exactly how the students wrote them, spelling and all, no teacher edits.)

The prompt this particular Friday was:  What would you do if you were in the middle of the lake and your boat started to leak?

Alexandra: If I was in the middle of a lake and My boat started to leak I would get my life gaket (jacket) and triy (try) to swim my way and my boat back to land.  Then I would leth (leave) my boat next to The lake.  Then go to my panis (parents) and Tell Tem (them) where The boat and they would drith (drive) to the boat.  then pu The boat in The car.  and that wast I wood do if I was in the middle of a lake.


Maria:  If I was in the middle of a lake and I was in a boat and it stared (started) to leak then I would put a life vest on and jump in the water.  I would do that because I have no chocie (choice).  All I can do is jump in the water or die.  And I would pick to jump in the water.  Even thought (though) it is very cold I would do it.  But I will try not to land in the rocks.  Thats what I would do if there was a leak in the boat.  


Mark:  iF my BoAt hAD A leAk I would swim to shore.  And Get A cANoN ANd Get bAck out There.  ANd Thats what would hApeN if my BoAt hAd A leAk.  


Erin:  First of all I would SCREAM!  Then get duck tape and tape it and put on my life jacket.  And would get a computer and contact 911.  Then wait for police until i'm safe.  and they would take me on land and I would give them shiny medals.  


Anna:  If I was in the middle of a lake and my boat began to leak then I wold begen to panik (panic) and screem screem and panec.  I wold call for help her (here) is an axampal (example) help help Aaaaaaahhhh help some body.  And thats what I wold do.  


Richie:  If I was in the lake and the boat began to leak.  I would get a life jacket and swim.  But if that did not work I would try to swim.  If that did not work I would find a log to get on.  If that did not work then its light out for me.  


Man, you gotta love a kid's imagination sometimes.